Breaking the Silence

If it doesn't strike you at first glance it ought to by the second look, that this is a completely incongruous picture.

Cherry blossoms and snow do not go together at all. When cherry blossoms come out for spring, it signals that snow and winter have packed up their bags and left for the year. This week of sun, snow, hail, flurry, slush, rain, sleet (sometimes all in one day) has literally given me a headache, and the visual of confused nature is a disturbing one...

But perhaps this perplexity is a reflection of my state of mind right now... I am guilty as charged for being MIA in my blog updates since the Calvin conference in January cos I haven't really regained my footing since then. This has been a trying/busy (and all other usual adjectives) semester cos I think I have spread myself too thin on a number of counts. Last semester was a pretty comfortable pace as I took 3 courses and gave myself some space to adjust to the newness of things here... BUT I think I overestimated myself this semester by taking 2 additional reading courses on top of my usual 3 courses, as well as started part-time work at the audio department. This has given me pretty limited breathing space each week as my school days run long and the rest of the days are taken up trying to fulfill my work hours or catch up with studies. This was exacerbated by the fact that the conference at the beginning left me a week behind in my classes... It has been hard feeling continuously tired and/or drained in the past months. :/

I don't really want to complain becos I know full well that this has been a result of several perhaps not-too-wise decisions on my part. Just gotta bite the bullet and deal with it, and not try to be superwoman again next semester. :p Right now it is 2 weeks till the finals and all I want is just faithfulness to get to the end of it without giving up mentally or turning into a sullen lemon. Pray pls?

• New Testament Foundations (final - 14 April)
  
• Christian Thought and Culture II (final - 17 April)
  
• Soul of Ministry (assignment - 18 April)
  
• Cross Cultural Mission & Islam (reading class)
  
• Spiritual Discernment (reading class)
  

Lord help me take your yoke upon myself, and learn from you... that I might find rest for my soul. For your yoke is easy, and your burden is light.

Happy Camper

Got dropped off at my accommodation for the conference by Becky this afternoon and found out that it is right next to a Krispy Kreme!! THE perfect spot for my reading catch-up in between workshops I must say! :D

So right after checking in and dumping my stuff in my room, I trudged out in the treacherous knee-high snow to get across the street for my maiden Krispy Kreme experience and ordered a small cappuccino. After a couple of minutes...

KK person: I'm sorry, but our coffee machine is down and we can't get steamed milk. Would you like a refund or we could get you a large upgrade on your coffee with regular milk...

Me: Hmm... that's ok, I'll just get the upgrade.

KK person: Would you like a doughnut for the wait?

Me: Oh, that's better! I think I'll get the doughnut instead of the upgrade then...

KK person: Nah, you can get both, no problem!

Me: *delightedly gets the chocolate glazed custard filled doughnut*

I'm a happy camper. :)

Mixed Feelings

So I leave for Chicago en route to Grand Rapids, Michigan for Calvin College's Worship Symposium in the coming week...

Am feeling both excited to visit and explore yet another part of the US, yet a hint unsettled at having to be away during the 2nd week of school when everything seems to be kicking in... Right now it feels a lil hard to be away when most are looking forward to the new semester - knowing a bit more what to expect and of course all set with new resolutions. :p To be travelling, yet having half a mind on the lectures I'll be missing, my readings I have to keep up with, and the registration nitty gritty that I have to settle over email... *shrug*

So far, I've had 2 people tell me that it's "brave" of me to be doing this right now - a nice, ambivalent way to put it, haha. Perhaps this will all change when I actually get to the Midwest. :)

Here goes nuthin'...

Welcoming a New Year

a new year stands on my doorstep
ready to enter my life's journey.

something in me welcomes this visitor:
the hope of bountiful blessings
the joy of a new beginning
the freshness of unclaimed surprises

something in me rebuffs this visitior:
the swiftness of the coming
the boldness of the entrance
the challenge of a year's good-bye

something in me fears this visitor:
the unnamed events of future days
the wisdom needed to walk love well
the demands of giving away and growing

a new year stands on my doorstep.
with fragile caution I move
to open the door for its entrance.
my heart leaps with surprise,
joy jumps in my eyes,
for there beside this brand-new year
stands my God with outstretched hand!
He smiles and gently asks of me:
can we walk this year together?

and I, so overwhelmed with goodness,
can barely whisper my reply:

welcome in!

Joyce Rupp

What a lovely way to welcome the new year...
2008, bring it on!! :)

Old Friends Are Like Gold

One of the highlights of Christmas break for me was spending a week in SFO with dear gal pals...

There, I realised how much I miss our lovely bunch and the easy banter we have always shared despite the years that have passed since JC, and the pretty distinct lives we now lead in various parts of the world... Concurring with Mel, it is really not easy to stumble upon girl-friends with whom we find a soul-connect, but perhaps that is what makes friendships like these all the more precious... truly God-appointed gifts no less. :)

There are the wonderful new friends who share the exciting new experiences and unique time of growth... Yet, there are the comfy old friends who know you as you are, where you've been, and with whom you can be yourself... And I now understand the tension of the reality of how these worlds will not coincide - each walking similarly definitive, but distinct journeys of my life with me.

Each friendship for each season.

Brings to mind one of my favourite quotes on friendship from CS Lewis:

"...friendship exhibits a glorious 'nearness by resemblance' to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest."

White Christmas

So we did have a white Christmas here in Vancouver after all! :D I even heard that one store had a sale the week before, offering rebates on their items bought before Christmas if it did snow on Christmas Day itself - I'm sure a white Christmas was great in more than one way for some!

The morning started out pretty bleak and wet, but all was dandy when the raindrops eventually transformed into snowflakes... the change in mood was as instantaneous as the change in weather - there is definitely something about snow that invokes wonder and peace. :) It was nice just walking down the street all bundled up and watching the snow floating gently down...

Had a cosy Christmas lunch at a Brett's (Canadian schoolmate from Regent who has been teaching me the ropes in some audio stuff) with 2 others as his wife who is a nurse, was on duty in the hospital. Then full-on Christmas dinner at my godparents'... am so stuffed now it's not funny. :p I guess that remains the common Christmas experience eh?

I have also actually been thinking quite a bit about this beautiful carol this Christmas since singing it for the first time during one of the chapels when I received a link to Corrinne May's lovely redition of it! Thanks for sharing it Des...

You just gotta hear it and take in the meaningful lyrics... Blessed Christmas everyone. :)



In the bleak midwinter,
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, O so long ago.

God, heaven cannot hold Him,
Nor the earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter
A stable place sufficed
For the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped her beloved with a kiss.

What then can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd,
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man,
I would do my part;
What then can I give Him:
Give my heart.

Season of Advent

With exams out of the way, I can finally soak in the wonderful season of Advent for at least a week before Christmas! Exam-time was really intense and I have not felt such a release of relief in a while after my last CTC paper last Thursday. :p The next couple of days was just about resting in all aspects after pushing ourselves hard and long with adrenalin - everyone had the same experience of still feeling tired even after sleeping long hours after the exams!

I was especially looking forward to this time because everywhere around were just reminders of the coming season... invitations to marvel at the miracle and beauty of incarnation, when God was made flesh. Just a week before exams, we witnessed the first snow of the season! It was just beautiful... covering the houses and streets in a blanket of white!

But it went as quickly as it came... By the next day after a weekend of snow, everything melted away and the streets were back to normal... such is an example of the notoriously bizarre Vancouver weather! :p But apparently it will be back as it is predicted to be one of the coldest winters in Canada and that Christmas will be a white one this year... I'm hoping for that! So long as I'm warm and indoors with a good view of the snow at that point... heh.

Also, because many students were returning home to other parts of the world for the holidays immediately when term ended, we had all our Christmas gatherings and fellowships interspersed with our study 'cramming' time... which was initially frustrating, cos I figured I couldn't be fruitful at either. I was even tempted to skip the programs to bury myself in my books - which I thankfully did not do, because as it turned out, the experience was quite the contrary! Having things this way really helped me not to be sucked into all the studying, and pulled me back to prepare my heart for Christmas, and certainly made me look forward to Christmas with greater anticipation and eagerness. :) Sure reminds me of the Mary-Martha dilemma... :p

For the past 4 Sundays at First Baptist, we have been lighting Advent Candles each week and singing carols of Advent which really draws out the season by slowing us down... and through this, I do wonder if this time of Advent perhaps holds just as much significance as Christmas itself, if not more... Often Christmas greets and leaves us in a flurry of activity, and once gone, we are often bewildered by the fact that Christmas is indeed over! I do suppose that even as God desires of us to spend our time now purposefully anticipating His Second Advent, and not be caught by surprise when it does actually come... similarly it could be a good idea to start 'practicing' - by how well we discipline ourselves in preparation for Christmas each year during this time of Advent... :)

Yet another illustration of Advent was given by Rev. Tom Cowan a few weeks back when he shared how we are now living 'in between two advents' in biblical history which is not cyclical, but rather linear - awaiting the final act of history. As such, our anticipation should not be characterised by a 'hanging around' kind of waiting... but an expectant moment of pause. What a great mental picture eh?? :p

Will leave you now with some 'Advent Snippets' at Regent...